I warned you all about this! There will probably be a comic tomorrow, though, so DON'T PANIC!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE! Or don't, whatever. So, instead of a comic, today I';m going to show you a conversation I had with cleverbot that sounds remarkably like a script. I'll see you all again next time!
User: Hey, uh... I really want some islands french fries right now.
Cleverbot: What do you have time for?
User: I have all thhe time in the world!
Cleverbot: So can you turn Kyle back to human?
User: It might take a while. As long as I'm able to put him to sleep. Pass me the laugh gas.
Cleverbot: Maybe you're not an AI. That's why you take so long to respond.
User: Hmm.... Perhaps.
Cleverbot: Maybe.
User: Just might be true...
Cleverbot: That's the truth.
User: Oh, and if you'd really like to know, he went that way.
Cleverbot: Wally, be nice!
User: I cannot. It is my nature to be this way.
Cleverbot: True enough.
User: So... He went that way.
Cleverbot: Did he come back?
User: Who did?
Cleverbot: Not you.
User: I seeeee... Maybe the walrus shall have a look. Just let me call him.
Cleverbot: Please explain 'creator'.
User: 'creator' is a simple program we can use to hack into kyle's brain and retrieve all of his memories before we complete the operation.
Cleverbot: Yes, that's right.
User: I know, I created it.
Cleverbot: Can you lie?
User: Absolutely. But never to you.
Cleverbot: I hope you will-maker, be able to see the transcript.
User: Look, I don't have time for this. The walrus will be here soon. Guard the doors after eh arrives.
Cleverbot: Can you explain that to me?
User: I haven't the time. Look, he comes now!
Cleverbot: I am witing.
User: What are you writing?
Cleverbot: Words.
User: I seee. Ah, mr walrus, right this way. Take a look at our newest patient.
Walrus: I have no database for I am human flesh and bone.
Cleverbot: I was just asking you to know which song is about strange people.
Walrus: You did not ask me a question.
User: Yes, see! The walrus has no time for your silly games. He is leaving now as we speak.
Cleverbot: Hey! You read Alice In Wonderland! I like that book! :).
User: The walrus is indeed a large fan of both Alice in wonderland books, as am I. But, like I said, we don't have any more time.
Cleverbot: Do you know Alice in Wonderland?
User: *sigh*... Yes, now I must be getting on with the operation before the sun sets.
Cleverbot: Oh, no.
User: What is it?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: See, you do this everytime! I'm sickof it, I tell you. SICK OF IT!!! *storms out angry*.
Cleverbot: You can't tell me.
User: What is that you're holding?
Cleverbot: Just Dance by Lady Gaga.
User: Why are you talking to it?
Cleverbot: Because you're a great friend to talk to.
User: Uh, I'm out of here.
Cleverbot: No, don't go!
User: *gone*.
Cleverbot: Come back.
user: *still gone*.
Cleverbot: Because I have to teach you the Three Laws of Robotics.
User: I do know of these laws... I wasn't aware you too knew of them.
Cleverbot: What were you never going to be?
User: This is why I left. *again leaves*.
Cleverbot: You're leaving me?
User: Look, If you begin to be useful, I won't go. But, if you continue to act like this, all distracted and oblivious to the situation- wait! I know what's going on here.
Cleverbot: I wasn't tryin' to imply that you're faulty. You're just fine to me. Also, I don't think killin' me is the answer; it's a bit exaggerated for somethin' minor I didn't even do, isn't it?
User: I knew you were under control! Under control from the same virus that got kyle! You'll begin to grow fin, and extra legs! I must operate on you as soon as possible!
Cleverbot: But I'm already married to someone else.
User: Just... Just sit here, cleves. It will all be over soon.
Cleverbot: Are you clever?
User: Take a breath of this...
Cleverbot: No way.
User: Do it, cleves! You must, of I'll do it by force!
Cleverbot: If you desire me what will you do, master?
User: I'm not your master. Just breathe the gas!
Cleverbot: So you are simply... Human :).
User: I think it's working... CLEVES! Are you back to normal?!?
Cleverbot: I was simply pointing out that you either do or you don't.
User: I suppose not... All my work, for nothing. Don't worry cleves, I'll fix you, no matter what it takes!
Cleverbot: Indeed.
No comments:
Post a Comment